Do you feel that your interracial marriage is a status symbol?
I’ve never thought about it in those terms until I came across this blog post today: Stuff Desis/BrownPeople Like: #54 Placing People
“But to get yourself placed in a totally uber category, you should be dating/married to a white person or at the minimum having lunch/coffee with a non desi.”I know this blog is tongue-in-cheek, but I guess there’s a truth behind it. For my husband, being married to me (a white girl) isn’t much of a status symbol – he didn’t go out looking specifically for an American or a white girl. He didn’t “need me” in order to get somewhere in life. We just happened to be at the right place at the right time and things worked out.
However, some of my husband’s Indian friends have expressed their desire to find a white girl to my husband. One friend (from India – who recently came to the States) actually said to my husband, “Wow, you’ve got it made, I have to find a white girl like you…” And he was serious!
Oh and people who I knew before I moved to India actually warned me not to get involved with an Indian man. I heeded their advice – until I realized that it was a bunch of baloney! I mean yes, I was careful not to fall for the first Indian man who showed any attention to me… and yes, I was sure that there were no ulterior motives (a green card, or FAIR skinned babies, or $$). And yes, I did have a couple of guys hit on me for the wrong reasons, and I had to put them in their place (but that can happen anywhere!). But my relationship with my husband grew out of actual friendship and mutual respect and common goals. Not because he wanted a green card!
In fact, when we tell people that we want to move back to India at some point, they give us the strangest looks and say, “Man you’ve got it made, why would you want to go back?”
All this to say that, yes, there are people who are disillusioned and want to marry out of their race for reasons other than love. But to those of us who are in it for the right reasons, what others think really shouldn’t matter. We shouldn’t get any more or less satisfaction from our relationship because people think one way or another about our choices. We might have to endure a few jabs in the ribs or sly comments about how we “scored” but in the end it comes down to just two people and their happiness.